Breaking Up is Hard to do!
by Plushies64
Summary: 5 things you should NOT do in or after a breakup. WARNING! contains some Yaoi! Attempt of humor. R&R, AU. Multiple couples. SasuNaru included ;


Breaking up is hard to do. D:

This was inspired by Allstate, kind of. x3

_Enjoy._

**Omg Naruto does not belong to me D':**

* * *

**Case #1**.

Do NOT do it by via text message. You're just asking for trouble.

**"-_-_-_-_-_-_-"**

**SasukeeeLOVESME! ; send you a new txt message:**

_It's over._

**Sakura. ; send you a new txt message:**

_What is?_

**SasukeeeLOVESME!; send you a new txt message:**

_Us. _

**Sakura. ; send you a new txt message:**

_WHAT? WHY?1111?1? WTF! ILY!1111!1onehundredandeleven!_

**SasukeeeLOVESME! ; send you a new txt message:**

_... Goodbye._

**Forehead girl; send you a new txt message:**

_Inooooo ! TT^TT Sasuek jsut bokre up wiht mee! WHY ME? WHY!_

**_-One hour later-_**

_Ring_

_Ring_

_Ring_

"Hello?"

"I HATE YOU! WHY COULDN'T YOU DO IT IN PERSON? WHY? DON'T YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU?-click- HELLO? DID YOU JUST HANG UP ON ME? OH MY GOD!"

Sasuke turned off his phone to avoid the constant ring.

-Next day-

Sasuke turned on his blue LX sidekick. (why not? xD )

**3,569 missed calls. **(**A/N: **Ok, maybe I'm over reacting! BUT, it's what makes it funny 8D)

**2,346 Voice messages.**

Sasuke turned off his phone and made his way to T-mobile to change his number (1).

* * *

**Case #2**

Do NOT breakup with someone on special occasions (anniversary, Birthday, Prom, Valentines day, Jesus Birthday, etc.) unless you're looking forward to death.

**"-_-_-_-_-_-_-"**

"Happy birthday Temari!" everyone cheered as the blonde blew out all 16 candles.

"Tem- We need to talk" Said the lazy boy as he grabbed her arm and walked her out of the loud crowd.

"What's up?" Temari said with a jumpy voice, her smile growing wider and wider.

"We need to break up.." Shikamaru said looking away to avoid her eyes. Temari looked confused and tried to find words to say.

"...Are you kidding?" She finally said after the long awkward pause. Shikamaru sighed, "I just feel like...you don't satisfy me." He watch as Temari's eye started twitching. She walked away, after 5 minutes Shikamaru started to make his way out the apartment. Before he knew it he was laying on the floor gasping for air.

"IS THAT YOUR EXCUSE? I DON'T SATISFY YOU ENOUGH? THEN TAKE THIS!" The blonde said swinging the bat above her head and bringing it down with great force.

"AGHHHHH"

-3 days later-

"Shikamaru?"

"I think he died!"

"Shut up dobe."

"Maybe we should call a nurse!"

"He's not dead idiot, look he's waking up."

"What happened?" Shikamaru asked as he looked around.

"You almost got killed by Temari!"

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**Case #3**

Just 'cause you two "agreed" to be friends, doesn't mean that she/he is over you or vice versa. Don't rush the friendship thing, TRUST me.

**"-_-_-_-_-_-_-"**

"So you and Hinata are friends?" Sasuke asked as he walked along with the loud blonde.

"Yeahhh, I'm just that good" Naruto said putting both hands behind his head. Sasuke forward his eyebrows.

"Dobe, no girl can be that cool about 'being friends'" Sasuke pointed out.

"Not Hinata!"

"hn"

-3 hours later-

"Hey Hinata! Why don't we go out for ramen?" Naruto said with a wide grin.

"U-uhm sure" Hinata smiled.

-At Ichiraku Ramen Shop-

**SLAP!**

"Wh-What the HELL?" Naruto shouted holding his now reddened cheek.

"What was that for?"

"I SAW YOU CHECKING OUT THAT GIRL! WHAT? ARE YOU PLANING TO SLEEP WITH HER AND LIE TO HER TOO? ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF HER?" Narutos eyes grew wider as he heard the petite girl scream at the top of her lungs.

"H-hinata you know that we're-"

"OH SAVE YOUR CRAP FOR SOMEONE WHO CARES, WE'RE OVER!" Naruto stared at her confused.

"We've been over..." He whispered.

"WHAT WAS THAT?"

**-LATER THAT DAY-**

Sasuke sat comfortably on his leather couch, reading his favorite book...New Moon. He sighed,

"Edward you fool!" He growled out as he turned the page.

He kept his eyes glued to the book as the "good part" started coming up. He resisted from skimming through the extremely long paragraph of the book.

**I GOT A SECRET IT'S AT THE TIP OF MY TOUNGE,  
IT'S ON THE BACK OF MY LUNGS AND I CAN NOT KEEP IT!  
I KNOW SOMETHING YOU DON'T KNOOOW!  
OOHHH-**

Sasuke glanced at the phone 'Unknown Call'. _'Damn it why can't this bitch just leave me alone? Why can't she understand that we're over! WHERE THE FUCK DID SHE GET MY NUMBER IN THE FIRST PLACE?' _Sasuke hesitated but answered it anyways.

"Hel-"

"DUDE WE FOUND NARUTO UNDER A BRIDGE CRYING!" Sasuke eyes widened,

"What happened? Why is-"

"Hinata beat him up!" Sasuke rolled his eye. Of coarse! He warned Naruto that no girl will be so chill about being 'just friends'.

* * *

**Case #4**

If you two _just _broke up then it's better to stay single for a while. IF you decide to JUST move on like that, then you're not being fair to yourself, your ex, and the person you're with.

**"-_-_-_-_-_-_-"**

"I'm sorry Sasori but we're just not connecting, you understand right?"

**Punch-**

"Well he took it well," said Tobi while playing with a stick. His 'magic stick' that is...-NO! NOT _THAT_ STICK. You perv!

"Yeah...uhm...Tobi?" Deidara said while pushing his bangs out of the way.

"Yea-mph!" Deidara jumped Tobi kissing him and pulling on his shirt. Tobi was too shock to do anything- poor Toby TT-TT

Deidara smirked when he heard Tobi moan out his name.

"D-Deid-Ah! Ra!" Tobi grabbed Deidara's shoulder and arched upwards.

"That's right Sasori, take it!"

**Punch-**

"DO I LOOK LIKE SASORI TO YOU? I AM NOT A REBOUND BOY!" Tobi got up and left the room. Deidara stood there staring at the path that Tobi took.

"OOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWW!" He said clutching his eye.

* * *

**Case #5**

If you're going to break up with someone DON'T do it in public. That's just mean!

**"-_-_-_-_-_-_-"**

Loud cheering was heard all throughout the stadium of Kanoha. Kisame being amongst the screaming crowd decided to drag Itachi towards the snack area. That's until a bright light blinded there way towards the stairs.

"AW! Aren't they a cute couple?" A deep voice announced as Kisame and Itachi appeared on the big screen of the stadium. Kisame blushed and tightened his hold on Itachi's hand.

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!" The crowds cheered on and watch intensely as Itachi inched his face towards Kisame.

"It's over." He said taking his hand away from Kisames grip. He headed towards another direction leading him to the exit. Kisame stood there on the verge of tears. The crowd stood silent for a moment and then "Awed" as Kisame ran out of the stadium. He made his way towards a bus stop; he forgot he came with _Itachi_… in_ Itachi's_ car. What else could go wrong?

"I'm blue, DA BA DE DA BA DI DA BA DE DA BA DI" The song blasted out of a small orange car.

"Hell no!" Kisame said rolling his sleeve up. Who ever this guy is, he's so dead.

* * *

Here were 5 things NOT to do in a breakup. Hope it helps xD

* * *

HERE'S EXTRA(SasuNaru):

"Sasuke?" Naruto asked as he lay on the grass next to his frienemie (2).

"What is it dobe?" Sasuke asked as he shifted from his position. He inched closer to Naruto.

"Why DID you break up with Sakura?" He asked staring up at the clouds not noticing the look on Sasuke's face.

"She wasn't my type." He stated while inching a little bit closer. Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"Not your type? What's your type?" Naruto stretched his arm up as if trying to grab a cloud. Sasuke smirked.

"You know, cute, tan, blonde" He said sitting up. Naruto looked confused.

"You're into Temari?" He asked with a shocked face. Sasuke glared at Naruto.

"No dobe." Naruto sat up and glared at him.

"Don't call me a dobe! Teme!" Naruto shouted as he glared at Sasuke. Then his eyes widened, Sasuke smirked. 'About time he'd figure it out' He thought.

"You dumped Sakura f-for Ino?" Sasuke's smirk fell. 'How stupid is he?' He asked himself.

"NO! Ino isn't even tan." Naruto tilted his head and tapped his finger on his chin.

"I give up" He said with a small pout.

"Idiot, I dumped Sakura because of a certain dobe that never leaves my thoughts" Naruto's eyes widened.

"Sasuke…you-" Sasuke caught him off with a kiss.

"Yes dobe. I dumped Sakura 'cause of you"

**Fin.**

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**(1) **I have T-mobile :D x3

**(2) **It's a combination of "Friends" and "Enemies". Thus, "Frienemies" 8D Clever ne?

Review please. :)

-Pluchies64


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